Di Mmuo! Spirit Spouses: Reviewed Through Multiple Lens of Universal Principles
Young Igbo Mask Dancers Wearing Net Masks and Raffia Costumes.
In this post, we will be reviewing the concept of Spirit Spouse through multiple lens of universal principles, in an attempt to demystify the phenomenom in the minds of those of us who still struggle with the idea as a way of being. Please note that this is simply an attempt, and more or less even an oversimplication of the concepts that we will explore in this post as it is nearly impossible to cover all the possibilities of examples or illustrations within the reach of our collective imaginations, to make my points. I will be sticking to simple and direct angles which may not do justice to how far each idea can be stretched. So please consider this blog post a very simple introduction.
The Spirit Spouse phenomena in Odinani is referred to as Di Mmuo or in some more specific cases as Di Mmiri, it is the idea that everyone born into this world is attached to the spirit realm or the world of spirits where they have their own spiritual other or spiritual half. In Odinani, the spirit world (Ala Mmuo) is believed to be the source of all creation and the ultimate reality that underlies this physical world (Ala Mmadu). The concept of Di Mmuo is closely related to the idea of the interconnectedness of all things and the belief that everyone born into this world came from a preexisitng one where they already have spiritual alliances as well as families. It is important at this point to state that the reality of Di Mmuo should not be confused with that of Di Uwa, which on the other hand has to do with soul ties which we are believed to adopt during our incarnation within this realm of existence. We are energetic beings and sometimes within the course of our human experience we can gain very strong emotional and spiritual (energetic) connections with other people, as a result we link ourselves to other souls whether knowingly or unknowningly. I have no intention of going further into the subject of Di Uwa (soul ties) or how its influence can also affect ones manifest realities, i just felt it was important to point out its distinction from Di Mmuo, which is our focus in this post. Also please note that the way i have applied “Di” here is outside of its demotic sense, Di in this context is not a gendered term. In fact in this context it presupposes mastery, in a complentary sense where all sides of a possibilty meet to become one, as it rules over itself (or as they rule over themselves). Everything one aspect does affects the other, in the sense that they can never be succesfully severed from one another.
I would like to begin this review with the Principle of Gender, alongside the Principles of Polarity & Rhythm, as our first lens. Let me first make it clear that the Principle of Gender we are referring to here has nothing to do with sex (as in social gender or sexual identity), instead, what we are addressing here are the feminine (AKWU, Eke, Nne, Nwunye, Nwaanyi etc) and masculine (OBI, Chi, Nna, Oke etc) principles (energies) which represent the two indivisible aspects of our universal consciousness, they play crucial roles in the universe as complementary forces that work together to create balance. The idea of the Principle of Gender is basically that gender is in everything; everything has its masculine and feminine principles; gender manifests on all planes, might i add, ‘on all planes’ within our universal consciousness. The principle of gender implies that all things worthy of knowing exist as complementary pairs, that is as the feminine and masculine principles. The idea of the Principle of Polarity is that everything is dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes meet; all truths are but half-truths; all paradoxes may be reconciled. While the idea of the Principle of Rhythm is that everything flows, out and in; everything has its tides; all things rise and fall; the pendulum-swing manifests in everything; the measure of the swing to the right is the measure of the swing to the left; rhythm compensates. The Principles of Polarity and Rhythm go hand-in-hand. Polarity entails two opposing extremes of the same nature, and Rhythm accounts for the measured flow of movement between those opposing extremes, that sustains their balance. Within these lens, the spirit spouse phenomenon can be understood to be that whatever has its manifest principle here as the feminine must equally have its masculine principle in existence somewhere, and whatever has its manifest principle here as the masculine must equally have its feminine principle in existence somewhere, both principles will always maintain a (spiritual) connection and a measured flow (life) force between themselves to maintain balance. And where both principles are out of alignment it may result in chaos or destructive results.
Lets explore another lens which is the idea of Principle of Correspondence, “as above so below”, which posits that there is always a correspondence between the laws and phenomena of various planes of being and life. Otu Mmuo Otu Mmadu. Okala Mmadu Okala Mmuo. Ojena Mmuo Ojena Mmadu. This principle of correspondence implies that all the levels or dimensions of existence within our universe share a set of identical laws or phenomena even though each level has its unique laws or phenomena. The whole concept of spirit spouse rests on the idea that a person is believed to be married spiritually, that is that one is believed to have a husband or wife in another (spirit) realm. This lens helps us understand that if such social institutions of marriage or family, which are overseen by laws that make them effective, exist in our world, then there is a clear possibility for corresponding laws that guide similar insitutions of family or marriage that exist in other planes of life or existence which we are believed to have incarnated from into this world.
The final lens i would like us to explore is the idea of the Principle of Cause & Effect, which is that every cause has its effect; every effect has its cause; everything happens according to law; chance is but a name for law not recognized; there are many planes of causation, but nothing escapes the law. This principle of cause and effect explains that every event or the occurrence of anything that happens in our world (life) has a cause. The concept of chance or luck are simply names we have assigned to a ‘cause’ we have not yet recognized. The spirit spouse phenomenom is very popular amongst all sorts of groups because in interrogating the ‘effect’ of certain things or situations, usually negative, the findings usually point back to the ‘cause’ as being an unknown or misunderstood factor, in this context that would be the existence of a ‘spirit spouse’ tormenting the life of their so called beloved ones in this realm for a lack of attention or for many mutliple reasons which always seem to revolve around rage (as in a vehement desire or passion).
This reality of Spirit Spouse has been grossly misunderstood and abused for a long time, mostly with (no) thanks to the influence of western religions. There are certain subjects like this one that seem complex when one attempts to interrogate them under the western gaze, but are however really simple in their nature when interrogated from indigenous perspectives. Subjects or Phenomena like this seem to present some sort of mental conflict when they are brought up for discussion especially because they invoke obstructions (blurs) or perversions already resident within the consciousioness of the individual or their belief system. (wherever the will and belief are in conflict, belief always prevails). The Spirit Spouse phenomenon is one of such subjects that seem complex but is rather simple in its nature. It is one phenomenon that has been acknowledged by every religious or spiritual system universally, including those ones that demonize it, they all acknowledge its existence. Because it is a spiritual reality, and humans are first spirit before matter, so of course it’s existence as well as manifestation is undeniable, to deny that reality would be to deny ourselves. People fear and demonize things they don’t understand. Mysteries are usually shrouded in darkness until the light of understanding permeates through. One of the goals of this post is to help those interested, to free the mind from fear of the unknown especially when the unknown is an inevitable part of our lives. At the very least, we hope to assist in that process of clearing out the dark clouds that cause fear in the mind whenever the subject of spirit spouse is discussed, we hope to encourage interrogation instead of avoidance. Our indigenous knowlege systems teach us that each person is a myriad of people, we are never alone in this world, we must resist fearing ourselves and our own realities. I encourage you to not think of each lens used in review in this post as a seperate thing, instead think of them as interconnected layers asserting the point that multiple things can be true at the same time pertaining to a single thing.
It would be ridiculous for me to end this post without addressing, even though very briefly, the subject of sex in relation to the spirit spouse phenomenon. I have been asked different questions so many times on why sexual intercourse in one form or another seems to be the loudest channel for this reality. What i do know is that sex is one of the most effective channels in this material body for energetic (feminine & masculine) alchemization, which in any plane of consciousness for us humans, is what we need for (re)creation, (re)generation etc in order to give birth to or (re)produce things either spiritually or physically. When i say ‘what we need’ i am referring to the energetic merging of the feminine and masculine principle, not the act of sex itself. Sex or sensuality is simply a means to an end, just a channel. I will go into more details on the subject of sex in another post. We have come to the end of this post and we hope it turns out to be helpful. As always feel free to send us messages if you have a question or a comment you would like to share. Udo!
Nine cool proverbs & axioms to ponder on:
Afa onye kporo nkita ya ka oga aza - The name one calls their dog is the name it will answer.
Agwo emeghi nke o jiri buru agwo, umuaka achiri ya hie nku - If a snake fails to do what makes it a snake, little kids will use it in tying firewood.
Aka nri kwo aka ekpe, aka ekpe akwoo aka nri - The right hand washed the left hand, and the left hand washes the right hand.
Eriri ma ngwugwu, ngwugwu ma onye kere ya - The rope knows/identifies the parcel, and the parcel knows the one that wrapped it.
Ewu nwuru n'oba ji abughi agu gburu ya - A goat that dies in a barn was not killed by hunger.
Ife kwulu, ife akwudebe ya - When something stands/exists, something else will stand/exist beside it.
Mgbe onye ji teta ụra bụ ụtụtụ ya - Whenever one wakes up is their morning.
Onye nyobe mmuo ofu Chi ya - Whoever attempts to delve deeply into spirit ultimately encounters their Chi.
Uwa bu ijele mmonwu, akwuro ofu ebe enene ya - The world is a grand masquerade, you can’t appreciate it’s entirety from a single view or fixed point.
Recommended Resources:
Spirit Wife, Spirit Life By Chimezie Chika | Efiko Magazine (Article)
Spiritual Husband and Spiritual Wife | Part 1 Real or Not | Nwaanyi Amechi ọkụnanọ (YouTube)
Spiritual Husband and Spiritual Wife Continuation 1 | Nwaanyi Amechi ọkụnanọ (YouTube)
Man Married to Mermaid ‘Bridegroom Commits Suicide’ | Daily Star (1987 Report)
