Mmekọahụ: the Matter of Sex (Sexual Energy) in Igbo Spirituality
Baby Dance of Etikpe, Cross River, Nigeria, 2004, Photography by Phyllis Galembo.
Question: How does sex affect us spiritually? I was taught to think of it as something dirty so it is difficult for me to shake that off even as an awakened adult.
Question (a): Why are we asked to abstain from sex when certain spiritual works are being done for us?
The goal of this post is to attempt to answer the above questions in the context of Odinani, in the best ways that we possibly can within the constraints of English language. Sex, especially when we try to divulge it from a so called “spiritual” perspective, is such a broad subject that it is unrealistic to expect a single post to be conclusive. Regardless, we’ll do our best to cover what’s relevant to the questions, anything we can’t answer here we might have to revisit in subsequent posts. This post is simply an attempt to highlight some points that are important to the discourse.
In Igbo language there’s not just one single word for sex, there are rather descriptors for the act in different contexts. For example you might hear folks refer to sex that happens before or outside of marriage as ‘ịkwa iko’, other times you might hear sex referred to as ‘ịpịa ọkụ’ which literally translates to, ‘to hip or wip the fire’, interesting right? On certain occasions you might hear folks refer to sex as ‘Ita Onwe’, or hear them say, “ha riri onwe ha”, which in translation implies that one is eating oneself or those involved are eating (consuming) each other by having sex. You might even hear the term, “la ba” when one is describing sleeping with someone sexually, which in translation implies ‘to drink’. The point of highlighting some of the ways sex appears in Igbo which is the language of Odinani, is to demonstrate an aspect of the cultural consciousness around what it is.
Sexual energy is powerful. While it can empower us (revitalize, recharge, fire us up) and keep us well grounded if used consciously, it also has the ability to impede that positive effect and cause distressful results when abused. Sexual energy is present in every aspect of our bodies mostly in unaroused form until it is aroused. Both forms (unaroused & aroused sexual energy) have their uses, if one can understand this then they can take advantage of that knowing. The advice to abstain from sex is typically just about energy preservation. Any Dibia doing a “spiritual work” or ritual for anyone is tapping into or engaging their (spirit) energetic field or reserve metaphysically. There’s no right or wrong with consensual sexual acts, just energetic consequences and since Dibias are aware, whether consciously or unconsciously, of the effects sexual activity can have on a person energetically, and they cannot account for whoever their clients maybe engaging in sexual acts with, they generally advice them to abstain depending on what kind of work is being done. Typically they ask their clients to abstain from sex in certain circumstances so that their energy can be conserved, transformed and then balanced (alchemised) into fulfilling their spiritual goal e.t.c.
The caution around sex is also not about having multiple partners either, for those who are polyamorous e.t.c. It just really comes down to consciousness. Consciousness is really what makes alot of the difference. As a spiritually conscious person, are you giving your energy away irresponsibly or are you intimate with those whose energies you have come to trust or can account for. Sexual energy like anything else is neutral, it can be used destructively or constructively. Just like fire or water, you can use the energy of fire to do alot of positive things or you can cause harm with the fire, the same goes for water etc. Let’s not forget sexual energy is the energy responsibile for bringing things to life in nature, this is why we stated earlier that it is powerful. Sexual energy is the energy that permeates everything, it is quite literally divine energy that can be channelled for (re)birth & creation through or within our bodies.
The process of orgasm in female & male bodies are quite distinct. In male bodies an orgasm is usually accompanied by ejaculation, female bodies can ejaculate but female ejaculation is not necessarily associated with having an orgasm. You will understand my reason for stating this point shortly, it is all linked to the discourse of energy conservation. The law of conservation of energy states that energy can neither be created nor be destroyed but can only be converted from one form to another. Masculine & Feminine sexual energies move differently. please excuse my oversimplication at this point it is so we can make an essential point. The masculine movement can be likened to fire 🔥(very quick to get hot and quick to burn out), while the feminine movement can be likened to water💦(which can take some time to heat up and also sometime to cool off). Before proceeding let’s insert a reminder at this point that we are responding to questions about sexual energy in relation to “spiritual works”, that is to say in its spiritual nature. The female body does not necessarily loose energy when they orgasm. The experience of orgasm is highly individual and can vary from person to person so the release that occurs during orgasm can be for tension or they loose a very small amount of energy which doesn’t translate to a major loss of energy, while the rest of the orgasmic experience is very nourishing to the body. But for the male body ejaculation is considered depleting or a lose of vital essence or energy in the sense that they are releasing sperm and semen with all the things that can hold potential conception energy. The parallel experience where the female body looses vital energy has to do with menstruation which is when they are shedding the lining of the uterus which could have potentially been the energetic nourishment for a new life, fetus. When people ejaculate it is believed that they lose life force in some form, and when one is doing certain spiritual works they are in need of all or as much life force (chi energy) intact as much as possible to channel positive results and manifest their desires.
When we maintain life force energy, especially sexual energy within us in certain situations, the belief is that it can give a lot of internal vitality, please note that this is not the case for everyone. Ife onye na so ka onye na eli. What one person may eat freely is the samething that may cause another person harm. It is also said that sexual energy is the fountain of youth for our bodies. It is believed that one of the easiest ways one can contaminate uchu (a form of negative energy in odinani) is through sexual intercourse with the wrong person (someone whose energy is already contaminated or some whose energy does not easily align with yours). Uchu is basically STD (Spiritually Transmitted Disease). In Odinani these teachings are enclosed in concepts such as ‘Omu’mu and ‘Amu’ma. Eke na Chi, the feminine & masculine principle, how they always contain and complement each other.
Sexual energy is ultimately about the unification of the masculine and feminine principles. Each person contains both energies (the feminine—Eke & masculine—Chi energy) both spiritually and otherwise. Know Thyself. (Be)come into knowledge of yourself and whichever energy you channel the most. Practice self cultivation and get to know your own body and how sexual energy moves in you, what recharges or depletes you etc. Each individual is unique and different, and sexual energy no matter the generalisation, like any other energetic phenomena manifests differently within each person. Everytime people have sex they are not necessarily looking to procreate, so the deeper purpose in being conscious is to channel that energy into something nourishing for ourselves.
Overtime in many cultures, sexual practices have been suppressed because doing so is consequently supressing one of the highest ways humans can easily achieve and cultivate spiritual alchemy. That is to say sexuality in a sense is also one of the highest expressions of human pleasure & connection. Energetically, sex can be an easy way for a mindful person to connect with their higher self without going through anyone else. Sex can be used as a channel to release or transform redundant energies. We could go on and on with making points about sex, but this post is not a lecture on sex, rather we are just trying to provide enough clarity on the subject matter to dispel some misconceptions that come up especially in relation to spiritual practices.
Abanyeghi otu mmadu mara, o nweghi ike i li onwe ya. No matter how much a person knows, they can never bury themselves. Knowledge alone will not get us results, it is important for us to start to do things better when we know better. Demonizing, that is portraying as evil or as worthy of contempt, the very thing that gives us life (quite literally) is bottom barrel level of ignorance and we must begin to lift ourselves up and out of such mental gutters in whatever ways we can. I hope this post has been useful to anyone who has even been slightly curious. As always you can leave a comment below with questions or for anything you want to talk about. Udo!
